Ask yourself this crucial question to unravel the root of your struggles.
Fear serves it's purpose when it is channeled to the right stuff
The fear of dying early should help you keep your body in check and help you in making healthy food choices
The fear of failing an exam or not meeting up with your bills should motivate you to work harder.
Fear can be a guide and there's always something positive about anything negative.
Love this piece! Very cool how you discovered game development from a place of love versus general programming from a place of fear. Immersion was a great word choice -- immersion can only come from a place of love imho.
I wrote a very similar one about fear and love (published ~1 week later than yours) that was largely inspired by my love of the film, Tick, Tick... Boom!
If you're interested: https://www.envisionendeavor.com/p/giving-wings-to-what-was-caged?r=ldpi0&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web