Last week I turned 23. Time flies.
I started Visual Growth just before turning 20, and it changed my life. Honestly…I still don’t know exactly what I’m doing. I’m winging it.
A lot has happened lately.
Some important deals fell through unexpectedly.
I went through some personal emotional turmoil.
I realized time was passing too quickly, and I wasn’t doing my best. I had been coasting, thinking I had all the time in the world to relax.
This combination of emotions almost broke me. I was angry that I wasn’t living up to my potential. I nearly turned to junk food and a movie to forget.
Then, something I wrote in my journal last year came to mind:
Anger is fuel. Anger is useful. Anger is a gift. Not something to avoid.
Could anger be the gift I didn’t know I needed?
An idea came to me: Run a half marathon. Right now. Alone. Nonstop.
I run regularly but usually stop after a few miles, checking my phone or walking. This time, I realized I could use my emotions as fuel.
I felt adrenaline as my anger turned into excitement.
It was a cold, windy day, but I put on my gear and went for it.
Before I left, I told myself I’d do 12km instead of 21km, because I didn’t think I could do it.
Last year, I struggled after 12km with a friend pushing me. If he hadn’t been there, I would’ve stopped.
This time, I was alone.
But as soon as I started running, I felt unstoppable. I used every emotion to keep going, running because of spite.
I completed the full half-marathon at a strong pace, without stopping, and still had energy left.
I couldn’t have done it without that anger.
The next day, I naturally woke up earlier, worked harder, ate healthier, and avoided bad habits. I had a new focus.
This realization will change my life forever. Anger is a gift.
We’re often told to just love ourselves, avoid anger, and be gentle. But what if anger was there for a reason?
Energy can’t be destroyed nor created; only converted. Anger signals that it’s time for change.
Two days later, I ran 23km at an even faster pace. This week I’ve run 3 half-marathons. Soon, I will run 30km.
This isn’t about running. It’s about the power of pain when things don’t go as planned. That’s when you change for good. It’s a turning point.
I can’t wait to get angry again and channel it into something else.
This is how you become anti-fragile.
You don’t feel angry? Great. Time to celebrate!
Things are falling apart? Even better. Now you have an edge. You can channel that energy into something productive. It’s a superpower. You have a strong reason to outpace your old self.
Sincerely,
Ash Lamb
(468 of 500 words)
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P.S. What worked for me might not work for everyone and may lead to injuries. That said, I truly believe we’re capable of far more than we think. We often hold ourselves back out of fear of abandoning our old selves.
Feel free to reply—I respond to everyone.
Reminded me of Nasim Taleb: ‘The resilient resists shocks and stays the same. The antifragile gets better.’
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Beautiful writing. And lovely you found a wholesome way to channel anger. The world needs that.